World Homeless Action Day.... get involved.

Here are links to articles I have written while at IRWA:

How to manage across generations

Six ways to advance your career

Change your job or change your attitude?

The tie that binds or why you need to belong to an association.

My path of professional development.

Work life balance.

A life worth living...

I mentioned that I was able to transition to a life worth living.. when I left the streets so many years ago. Yet there are so many people that go through the motions of life and never really live. I came across this post today on another blog and really liked the simple message:

YouTube video of my presentation in St. Louis at ASAE's annual meeting:

Are you writing the story of your life, or are you letting other people and circumstances write it for you? You might not consider yourself a follower, but here are a few signs you aren't in control:

You don’t like your job – Maybe you picked something because it was easier or safer than your ideal career. Worse, maybe you’re just doing what your family pressured you to do.

You’re living paycheck to paycheck – The problem usually isn’t money, but your priorities. It isn’t hard for the stuff you own to turn around and own you.

You feel obligated to do things you don’t want to do. Your first duty is to yourself. You can’t save the world while you’re miserable.

Leading your life isn’t easy. It means freeing yourself from many different assumptions. That freedom can be initially terrifying and painful, which is why so few people do it. It is far easier to just follow the assumptions of society, even if it leaves you unfulfilled.

Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living:

Rule One: Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

Not your parents. Not your spouse. Not your kids. Leading your life means you can accept the input of other people, but the final decision is yours. This means that career choice, relationships, beliefs and way of life are to be judged by you, not anyone else.

This rule holds especially when you have doubts. Don’t let your moment of doubt become a weakness to be exploited by others. Not sure what you want to do with your life? Don’t sit passively and let other people decide for you.

Rule Two: Don’t allow yourself to be chained by consumerism.

The world is filled with stuff. Don’t let stuff get in the way of what is important. When you become chained to your stuff, you are no longer leading your life. Ask yourself: if you had to give up 90% of your net worth tomorrow to pursue your dream, could you do it effortlessly? If you hesitated, perhaps your ability to lead your own life has been weakened by your attachment to stuff.

Rule Three: Rule money. Don’t let money rule you.

Money is a resource that can be applied when leading your life. You can use it to reduce discomforts, focus on meaningful work and apply it to help you learn and improve. But if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the money is in control.

Here are some goals to put yourself in a position to rule the money in your life:

• Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.
• Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.
• Be able to drastically reduce your expenditures if needed.

Financial freedom doesn’t mean the ability to buy everything you could desire or live in luxury. It means that money becomes a tool and not a distraction in leading your life.

Rule Four: You come first in relationships.

Do you know people that can’t stand being single? They get out of one bad relationship only to jump into the next.

Why? Because they put too much of their needs dependent on that other person. Without emotional and possibly financial support, they can’t survive.

In any relationship you need to be the person that comes first. That means that while you might enjoy the relationship, it doesn’t become the major purpose in your life.

Your purpose and leading your life must come before any relationship you enter. The surprising fact is that when you do this, you are able to have healthier personal and intimate relationships because there is no need for jealousy or possession.

Rule Five: Never outsource your thinking.

“You can split up food between men, but each man must digest it individually.” – Howard Roark in The Fountainhead.

Leading your own life means leading your own beliefs. It means never accepting anything unless you can filter it through your reasoning and find it to be true. Think critically about everything in life. Chances are there are a lot of indigested thoughts floating around trying to bypass your mind and go straight to your gut.

Rule Six: Anything you lack can be trained.

Never accept a fatalistic view of life. So you’ve been told you lack the intelligence, willpower, strength or charisma to do something? Ignore them. So you’ve told yourself that you lack the talent? Ignore yourself.

Begin with the assumption that anything can be trained and you’ll find few exceptions. I used to be a shy, introverted kid. Recently some friends described me as an extreme extrovert, being unafraid to meet new people and having honed my abilities to speak in front of crowds. Begin with the belief that you have no idea where your talents are until you train them.

Rule Seven: Purpose comes from your creative faculties.

Want to know what your purpose in life is? Simple. Hold your hands in front of you. Now look at them. There is your purpose and means to do it.

Purpose is your ability to take the creative energies you have and communicating them with the world. You and I might pick different mediums, but the act of purpose is exactly the same. You could be a manager crafting the art of dealing with people, a programmer crafting the knowledge of algorithms or an entrepreneur crafting the art of a business.

Don’t worry if you haven’t found the right medium. Once you feel that great purpose for your life and it comes from within, that is your greatest asset. With that belief you are the leader of your own life.

Website Source: A life worth living....

Changing the perspective of homelessness.

I attended ASAE's Annual Meeting in St. Louis earlier this month. It was a huge milestone for me. Not only did I get to walk on stage to be recognized as a new Certified Association Executive (CAE), but I got "naked" in front of 250+ people. Not really naked, but I sure felt naked. I revealed my dark past and let it be known that I was homeless. I had the stage for five minutes and when I was done I felt overwhelmed by the standing ovation and tear streaked faces that filled the room.

I broke down.  

My former supervisor came up to me, eyes red from crying and he reached out his arms and pulled me tight.. telling me how proud he was that I was able to talk about this. He has always told us that he did not want to be a father figure, but in my mind.. he was at that moment, my dad. Giving me the support and understanding that I never received during his life.

My own eyes filled with tears.. tears for the innocence lost, tears for the pain that remained buried for so many years, tears for all the lost souls still in the streets.

I made a vow to myself that day: I will repeat my story as many times as it takes and I hope to change the perspective - not only of those that look out at the homeless, but of those that look in the mirror and see the face of the homeless.

We need to give a hand up - not hand outs.

I am coming out of the closet at ASAE's Annual Meeting!

It's official. I am going to be leading a presentation at ASAE's Annual Meeting this August. It is in  will be leading an Ignite Session on the topic of homelessness. Specifically: Homelessness does not have to be a life sentence: One Success Story.

You might wonder why I have a passion for helping homeless. Well, you see - I was once homeless. So, the basis of the story is that it is MY STORY!

Check out ASAE's Ignite!  sessions.

Some inspiration from a man that discovered passion after personal crisis

Subject: Some inspiration from a man that discovered his passion after experiencing personal crisis

I wanted to share my new goal with you - I have decided to help a young man I met in Colorado last month. Alexey Talai is a dynamic and driven young man who is on a quest to bring wheelchairs and services to the disabled children and orphans of his small Eastern European country: Belarus. Alexey also happens to be a quadriplegic amputee himself.

When Alexey and I sat down and talked last month, he told me how when he was brought back from the hospital he was "planted" on a couch, just like a "flower". His family watered and fed him, just like they would to care for their other plants and flowers. He sees the disabled children in his country facing that same stigma. No way to gain independence. There are no chairs for disabled in Belarus. There are not even accessible buildings. Belarus is only 100km outside of Chernobyl. There have been many birth defects, as you can imagine, as well as injuries caused from left over land mines.

I honestly feel compelled to assist Alexey in reaching his goal to get chairs for the children of Belarus. I have made this my personal goal for this year. I have been reaching out to local connections to try and find one which Alexey can partner with. I contacted the Executive Director of Wheels for Humanity and have begun the process of bringing Alexey to Los Angeles to solidify a partnership agreement. If that agreement is executed, we will only need to raise $50,000 to bring 200 custom fitted chairs and other durable medical equipment to Belarus.

Right now Alexey is touring the East Coast speaking to various groups to raise awareness and to gather assistance for his quest. He has a phenomenal spirit and one of the most inspirational people I have met.

One of the local papers in Texas featured Alexey in a recent issue 

(http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/cleveland/news/article_79d3616c-dfc8-53fc-b4c5-442b9b3e4604.html)

 and I wanted to pass this on to you. If you know of any audiences that would benefit from his speaking, let me know. His goal is to raise awareness of the plight of the disabled children and orphans in Belarus. You can read more about Alexey's dream on his website: http://cafeindependence.webs.com/

I attended an abilities exposition and conference this past weekend and was able to meet with a business owner from Northern California who has a warehouse to store chairs until we can get them deployed. This business owner has been actively helping the disabled left in the aftermath of a war-torn Afghanistan. He owns a few dealerships and has promised me a loan of an accessible van so I can transport Alexey when he is here.

I met with the publisher of a magazine which focuses on active disabled, and he would like to run a feature story on Alexey.

I have also called my alma mater - California State University in Long Beach and spoke to the director of their disabled services program to try and schedule Alexey to come and speak to the students. CSULB has a student body of over 35,000 students.

I am very optimistic that we will be able to do this over the next year.  It is funny how before I came out of the closet about my own disability I tried to not even think about my disability or about others with disabilities. I viewed my disease as a condition. Now I see it as an opportunity.

If you know if any speaking opportunities for Alexey, please let me know.

  Best regards,

  Valerie

         

-- 

Are you going to renaissance faire

Without laughter, life can be so boring. I participate in Renaissance Faire as a re-en-actor. To say I love faire does not fully express my feeling - I would have to say it is one of my primary passions.

This ode was created for me by a woman I met on FaceBook. We share a common bond. We both have  FacioScapuloHumeral Dystrophy (FSHD). This happens to be the most common form of muscular dystrophy, but lucky for us, is a very slowly progressing disease. My friend created this montage from photos that I have on my FaceBook account, and wrote very creative lyrics to describe who I am.

I am in awe of her talent and wanted to share this here.

Enjoy! 

Fighting the darkness of indifference

Without passion life becomes indifferent. Sometimes we have to fight off the darkness to maintain our hold on light. Today was one of those days. Today I had to reach inside and find a glimmer of hope to hold onto.

The song that comes to mind when I think of indifference is Eleanor Rigby, by the Beatles. Eleanor clearly is missing passion in her life, which I believe is the norm for our society. We give in to the darkness instead of allowing the light to take over.

I must experience passion in some form at least once a day. Today's passion was fleeting, but at least it was there. I realized that I have been less than my normal optimistic self these past few days. I found myself barking for no apparent reason. Today I stopped and took a look at what I was doing. I saw who I was affecting and realized I needed to rekindle the flame. 

I set out on a quest to find something to get lost in. A worthwhile project, or even one that would just devour my time. Of all places, I found it at work. Earlier this week I decided to develop a training program for my staff. My goal is to engage, empower and develop a culture of innovation.

I am basing the training on self assessment using the Myers Briggs Type Indicator in conjunction with using the theories and practices developed by Stephen Covey in his book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

It was quite exciting to see the energy created the team as I led them through a series of self assessments as well as a group exercise. The synergy released in the group was exactly what I hoped for. 

This was my first attempt to develop this type of training and I must confess that I was exhilarated after the session. 

I even decided to be brave and sent out a satisfaction survey to my staff to determine effectiveness of the training. I love using Survey Monkey. I had the results within a few hours of sending the link and was able to adjust my next training segments in response to feedback received. I have committed to developing and conducting a 10 week series of 1 hour training sessions. I think I may have found another outlet for passion: teaching.

Next week we embark upon the first habit: being proactive. 

Stay tuned!

Off to the Windy City

I spent most of the night packing for a business trip... I leave for Chicago at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning. I am one of those "anxious travelers". No, I am not afraid of flying, I just want to make sure that I have everything I need.

I will be trying out my new laptop carrying case for the first time. I am going to test the theory of using a sleeve instead of a backpack. At least this is only a 3 day trip. Hopefully it will not be an epic fail.

It is hard to think creatively when I am struggling with the left side of my brain to recall all that needs to be done.

Maybe after a Guinness and a cigar I will feel more relaxed...

Comfortably Numb

I have not found a better antonym for passion. I have spent many days, if not years, living in a state of "comfortable numbness".



Living a life lacking in passion. There had been a time in my life that I did not listen to music. I had no radio. I had no stereo. This was all by choice. I had made an unconscious decision to withdraw from life. I was trapped in a world of darkness and despair. Such is the life of someone living in depression. A life devoid of passion.

How ironic.

That was another lifetime ago. Gratefully, I cannot fully remember those days. Maybe I just blocked them out. Regardless, I choose not to dwell in the past, but to live life to the fullest. Today I choose passion.

Today's passion reminder was music. I am one of the older generation who happens to still listen to regular FM radio (at least in my car). I know, the sound is not great and I have no control over the playlist, but still.. there is something about radio broadcasting that is very special.

Maybe it is because I hear the passion of the DJ's? We do know that passion is contagious.

Maybe it is the anticipation of what song will play next? We all like surprises, right?

Maybe it is just a reminder of days gone by... the way things used to be.

I had my music. I had my passion fix for the day.

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday, and as a dear friend of mine once stated, she and I are "Plenty-Nine" and holding.

I love the concept of agelessness. However, I have a great appreciation for the knowledge and wisdom that can only come with living each day of our lives to the fullest.

I have met some 15 year olds that have more wisdom than others that are 30. Just because you pass time on this planet does not mean that you are learning anything.


Today is my birthday and I will stay on the soapbox as long as I can.


Just kidding.


Actually, what I wanted to talk about today is birthday traditions. I used to get so excited about the family serenading me around a colorful birthday cake set all aglow with a plethora of candles, and of course, the presents.

What child did not love to admire the stack of presents brought over by friend and relatives. I remember thinking that the more you were liked (or loved) the more presents you received.

As a child, those were some of my best memories. No, not the presents.  The events.

Actually, when I think back, I cannot remember even one of the presents I received on any birthday.

But those memories!

Decorated back yard. Funny hats. Cardboard horns. Pin the tail on the donkey. Brightly colored plates and matching napkins. Homemade cake. Giant tubs of ice cream. Pancake breakfasts the morning after a sleep over.

I can even recall a particularly happy celebration. I was wearing white peddle pushers topped with a block printed triangle blouse and of course - the colorful foil and fringe hat. My mom had made the perfect banana cream cake. Back then, we never had store bought cakes and I am so glad of that fact. No one made a cake like my mom.

I still have a photo of that moment. The one just after blowing out the candles. I was so proud. My dimples emphasized my sheer joy. Again.. I don't remember the gifts, but I do remember the experiences and am very grateful for those cherished memories.

So, this year, when my family asked me what I wanted for my birthday I had one simple answer:

I want a memory.

I chocolate cake would not be a bad thing either!

My husband's passion (other than the passion for me) is writing. He has written and published two fantasy adventures (suitable for young adults too!). You can check it out on Amazon.

Planning for Passion

Today I spent a bit of time searching for a relevant topic for our bi-monthly magazine. I was hoping to focus my article on Passion.  I came across a book titled "The Passion Plan".

The book is supposed to provide a step-by-step guide to discovering, developing and living your passion. The author claims that following your passion will lead to profit. I was relieved to read in the except that profit is not always defined by financial success. Sometimes our definition of profit will change as we follow our passion.

"Whatever its nature, the Profit you find will further fuel your passion and propel you onward to even greater achievement and happiness." ~ Richard Chang, 1999

Well, sign me up! I just wish I had a copy in my hands right now.

Chocolate

Passion for food can be absolutely wonderful! I love chocolate. It cannot be just any chocolate. For instance, Snickers Bars or Butterfingers - even See's Candies. Sure, they taste "good" and the sugar gives you a nice little rush, but am I passionate about those? No.

What I really love is the rich velvety smooth European style chocolate. Ritter bars.

Dark organic chili laden chocolate. Trader Joe's dark chocolate triangles in the tin. Patsy's handmade chocolate from Colorado Springs.

There is nothing like the sensation of rich chocolate melting in your mouth and filling your tongue with earthy, sweet flavours.



That is the type of chocolate that I can savor. It does not even take much to satisfy, because it is quality over quantity. Yet, I find that my passion for chocolate is a double edged sword. I guess that is why I battle my weight. Over the past year I have been following Weight Watchers. It is a successful program and I am hoping to reach my goal.

I love that it allows me to be flexible. When I really need chocolate (yes.. it can be a NEED), I have the freedom and flexibility to feed my passion.

Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday Dad. Your 100th birthday just passed.  A centurion. Thank you for teaching me to me to fish, both literally and figuratively. You taught me not not only skills to survive, but instilled in me a passion to learn how to do more. It was one of your greatest gifts to me. I inherited your thirst for knowledge. You also taught me about how to be passionate in everything. You were was a great story teller and brought your past to life. I miss you dad, but you are with me still. Love always, Your daughter ~ Valerie